Saturday, October 29, 2005

Delhi Bleeding

Just as I was trying to catch some rest after my weekend shopping routine, Ashish called up and the first thing I heard was “BBC laga..”

Eyes widened. ears alert n a strange sensation like someone had just squeezed my heart as I looked to the TV…

Announced BBC… soon it became clear to me that there had been bomb blasts in the capital
Paharganj – which is just a stone-through-away from my house in Delhi
Sarojini Nagar
Govind Puri
Kotla Mubarakpur

Several are feared dead and lots more injured. The markets had been flooded by lots of shoppers just before Diwali and Eid. It’s sad that for so many families the coming few days would be full of grief.

My condolences are with the bereaved families.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Sans Cricket :-(

I hate not being able to watch Sachin blast away Lankans.... I really do...
What a comeback by The Master Blaster... Welcome back Sachin we were all missing u so much....

They dont show Cricket in Denmark not on any channel.... isn't that amazing... could a sports channel even think of operating in india and not show the cricket matches... (OK OK!! Leaving DD Sports)

And for the 16 of us who are in this project is our hope.... refreshing the browsers every now and then .. or better still getting a ticker on your desktop... and stay abreast with the game... but come to think of it Cricket is much more than a game ... its a passion... a movement ... a thinking... Remember the Ad... Eat cricket Sleep Cricket Drink only COCA
Some random cold drink company trying to encash on the cricket fever in India...

Talking of Cricket related ads ... cricket stars have been the brand ambassadors for many companies... I love the Adidas Ad in which Sachin is shot using numerous cameras... another fav is the Coca Cola Ad with the sound track of “Dum Mast Kalander” sung by NFA Khan... the whole city painted in the crimson hue... Red clothes . Red chillies.. Red walls... Red buildings...and to top it ... the eight octave voice of NFA Khan..(May his soul rest in peace) Lovely!!!!

My very early initiation to watching cricket started when I was very small.. my mom, being more enthusiastic about cricket than my dad, would put an alarm to wake up early mornings to watch the matches happening Down under.... in school we used to carry small transistors which would be switched when one class ended and the teacher is yet to come... During lunch time our princi used to switch on the TV in his room and raise the volume a little so that the students could gather outside his room n watch the match... the lunch break was the most awaited moment on those special days... During Grad we had a dhaba near our college where almost all the guys would assemble to watch the match... I bet the dhabha owner did 500% business than normal on those days ... so on days there was a match I would either be at the dhaba or better still at home... We often used to bet during these matches and the method was also very unique... lemme explain how...
Lets say we are betting on Dravid... now we mutually agree upon a score which I think he would be able to make and the other guy thinks he wont .. lets say 60. Now if Dravid makes 110 I win 50 bucks and if he makes 10 runs I lose 50... this way the stakes never got very high .. but no matter who lost.. the money eventually landed up in the Dhaba owner's pocket...
Post grad it was no different...It only got crazier

Even after I started working my enthu for the unofficial national game of India didn't go down. On days when there was a match I would reach office at 3 pm after watching one side play 50 overs and the other side play 5 overs or something... like many other colleagues ... Inside office it was again … we had a site which used to stream video which we used to watch during world cup
When it used to be a day-night match ... we would reach office at 7 am and get off at 3 to watch the match..... while in office frequent trips to the pan-wallah/canteen would ensure that I was updated about the match....

Life sans crickets is not the same anymore.... although u get to see read the ball by ball commentary it can never match the excitement of watching the match... the sound of timber hitting leather is just so esctasic... The way the hands go up in the air when the ball goes past the rope... the "oooooooooohhhhhs" which some when the bat misses the balls n nests in the keepers gloves...

Song of the Day : Koi lauta de mere beete hue din!!!

Monday, October 24, 2005


What's the unit of money?? Technically speaking its the lowest denomination of money which is indivisible.... and by the books it is 1 paise... I am not very sure about the pie and kaudi mathematics so cant really comment on it... (Remember: "do kaudi ke aadmi" and "main aapki pie pie chuka dungaa lalaji" from the yesterdecade movies)

But isn't it surprising no one remembers the humble aluminium coins anymore... we don't even get to see them anymore... except if some crazy guy (like me) is still clinging to his old coins nicely kept in a box in one of the cartons...

Forget about the humble one paise coin... or the rhomboid 5 paise coin... or the frilly edged 10 paise or the hexagonal 20 paise coins .. people are avoiding the 25 paise and 50 paise coins as well...

Now I do agree to a point that is inconvenient to carry coins... they weigh more than notes and I certainly dislike the sound of them in my pocket.. and GOD forbid, if I drop a coin... it becomes a real problem for me to pick it up from a slippery surface ... since my nails are so dug up (ok ok... I AM trying to give up biting nails)

But I am not reluctant to accept coins of small denomination as a valid means of trade... outside our office at the tea stall the cutting-chai is priced at Rs. 2.50 /- so that means I get 50 paise back with me ... but then people come up with excuses like.. "Agli baar laga lengey" to avoid taking that 50 paise...

Most often seen at Pan-wallahs .... that poor guy has to accept 50 paise from people but when he tries to give someone that 50 paise coin... "Bhaiya... Mint de do iski" .. Now where does that pan wallah go with his sackfuls of 25 paise and 50 paise coins????

The BEST bus conducters in Bombay... harass you if u produce 50 paise coins for the ticket...

I heard that somewhere in MP (guess it was Jabalpur or someplace) they have stusck together four 25 paise coins and count that as a rupee.. now it actually is a rupee but people dont want to carry four 25 paise coins...

I went to Bangalore long time back and there people were still using those aluminium coins... or for that matter the torn worn out notes were wrapped in plastic and still circulating... Now that is good.... coz we are increasing the life of a paper note....

There is a cost for printing currency, which sometimes exceeds the value of the note itself... as was the case with Re 1 and Rs 2 notes so they no longer are printing those notes

Just because a note is slightly torn doesn't mean it is completely devalued .... it still is a tenner or whatever it is

One reason why the coins of small denomination are loosing their sheen (literally) is that the purchasing power of rupee has gone down... things are expensive now... there is ahrdly anything u can buy with a lone 50 paise coin... gone are the days when a 25 paise could fetch you a orange ice lolly... then to avoid this mess should we reprice evrything so that everything has a Rs*.00/- kinda price... no paise attached... (I wonder would Bata people do that... their stuff is alays like Rs***.95 ..any guesses on how much they would have shortchanged the people over all these years??)

What next... soon people will be reluctant to accept 1 Re coins... then Rs 2 coins and then Rs 5 ...Are we heading towards a coin free economy ??? Will there be a day when the coin shall only be used while deciding which team bats first???

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


yeh shehar meri jaan
iska naam hain meri pehchaan
meri saanson mein basa
hawa ka nasha
mera dil mera pata
meri shaaaaaaaan
yeh shehar meri jaan
yeh shehar meri jaan

kehti koi kahani
yeh galiyan yeh bastiyan
rahon ko sajayein
pedo ki daaliyaan
yeh nazara
kitna hain pyara
mera dil mera pata
meri shaaaaaaaan
yeh shehar meri jaan
yeh shehar meri jaan

bhagta phir raha
har insaan yahan
dil mein hain basaye
jeene ka armaan
sab ka sahara
shehar hamara
mera dil mera pata
meri shaaaaaaaan
yeh shehar meri jaan
yeh shehar meri jaan

dilli hain meri jaan
dilli hain meri jaan
dilli hain meri jaan
dilli hain meeeeri jaan
meri jaaaaan

An ode to my fav city in the world..
Thx Palash n gang for this beautiful song


We find euphemisms of all kinds these days...

No longer are there clothes for the obese... they are "King-Size"... Inventory Shrinkage instead of Shoplifting... Aesthetically Challenged instead of Ugly... Vertically Challanged instead of Short .. and the list goes on...(one euphemism which I really adore is "Differently Enabled")

Anyways back to what I started for. From the umpteen number of movies I have seen I hereby draw a list of euphemisms used in world's biggest film industry: Bollywood

Disclaimer: This list is by no means exhaustive, for as long as the filmmakers of this nation of 1 billion plus, continue to dig into their minds(or their noses.. or both) to find out new ways to show things on screen this list will keep growing

Euphemism No 1

Scene: Hero n geroine in a public garden whispering sweet nothings to each other... hero feeling the pangs in his loins and the heroine acting coy.... after a while they bend down and the camera stays there on the two flowers (preferably roses mind you... and red too ) and then the two roses start to bump into each other or swaying left right up n down as if nodding approvngly to the acts being committed just below them... usually signfies kissing.

Corollary :Another version.. hero and heroine are now in a jungle scenario remains as above.. in this case the flower nodding usually signifies copulation

Euphemism No 2

Scene: hero n heroine on a stormy night... its raining accompanied by thunder and lightening... their car has broken down and they are now in a secluded Daak Bungalow in the middle of nowhere.... since their clothes are wet the hero will start a fire.. (somehow all the dal bungalows are stacked up with firewood for any such emergency n the hero has lighter/matches to light up the fire even without the need of any kerosene/petrol). The roaring fire's flames are directly proportional to the lust between the love birds at this point of time... the light in the room should be orangish-yellow and the hero should be nude waist up...
Hero n heroine get close to each other and the camera zooms in through the small space between their bodies and blurrs into the fire
Signifies copulation
It may be noted that this euphemism occurs solely when the case is of pre marital sex. the Euphemism No 1 though can also be shown with married couples. The corollary to it though is strictly reserved for premarital sex... if it were a married couple the husband would be busy pulling his hair and thinking "Why did I ever promise this woman the jungle safari???"

Euphemism No 3
Bedside lamp

Scene: Its the "SUHAAG RAAT" .... now after all the ghungta uthana, kesar wala doodh and the rest of the usual shenanigans are done with the hero will lay down his bride on the bed (fully clothed n jewelled)... camera pans to the bedside lamp which switches off after a delay of 2 seconds

Euphemism No 4
Child photo....shhhh

Another variation to the scene in the above euphemism... at the end instead of panning to the bedside lamp the camewra will pan upwards on the wall where the child photograph is ... and the child having a finger on his lips... Sssshhhhhhhh!!!
Dont be surprised if the next day the heroine throws up and is expecting a baby.. coz somehow this euphemism is oft used in cases when the couple is trying to make a baby.

Euphemism No 5
Waves in ocean 1

Usually occurs at some beach .. now the beach has to have green waters , white sand, sample sun and most importantly it should be secluded be totally deserted one... how else will their lusty instincts urge them to make out behind those coconut trees...then when the huge waves start hitting the shores you know that the guy has been successful in nailing the gal... one might wonder how all of a sudden the peaceful waves turned into big mighty roaring ones... the answer I m afraid is a bit complex... its the lunar gravity coupled with the earth's centrifugal force due to rotation on it's axis combined with all the pumping n grinding going on behind those coconut trees

Euphemism No 6
Waves in ocean 2

This is again a variation to euphemism no 5...except that this time the waves are crashing hard on the rocks... this would in most cases signify a rape or passionate love may also be used in some other situation where there is a kash-m-kash going in the hero's mind whether to obey his parents word or go with his gal...or when heroine is comtemplating suicide due to the unwanted pregnancy.. but we wont discuss those senarios

Euphemism No 7
Mountain Erupting

Now this one is a multipurpose euphemism... it can and has been used at a number of places in a number fo situations...
Hero's sis gets raped.... Volcano erupts
Hero heroine are making passionate love ...Volcano erupts (in this case the amount of lava flowing out of volcano is directly proportional to the hero's virility)
Saboo ko gussa aata hain ... Volcano erupts (on Juptier ofcourse)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Food Fiesta

The week that went by…. OMG … first of all let me admit that I am a food freak and now that I have to cook for myself I have grown even more fond of food…. Which includes my own cooking… this week GOD has been exceptionally kind on me and since Tuesday we haven’t eaten at home… thx to the festive spirit in the air….

Venue : Datta & Anshuli’s place
Dasshehra dinner at their house.. a wholesome marathi meal followed by Basundi and ice cream to leave two satisfied people with stomachs packed to max capacity

Venue: Prasenjit n Swati’s place
Some how the Bengali’s were celebrating the dasshehra a day later… so wed it was at their place… Shrimps, chicken, mix veg, dal n rice all cooked in authentic Bengali style… Prasenjit also showed the first pic of their child… a sonograph…
May u have a healthy baby n safe delivery!!! I blessed them with all my stomach … errr heart

Venue: Sukhbir n Rimpy’s place
Well we had to go over to their place to give them some utensils which they may be needing on Saturday for the party at their place…. Sukhbir being a true blooded Punjabi came up with this Famous Grouse bottle to be emptied before touching main course… three pegs later we were at the table savoring pulao, dal vegetables n roti smeared with desi ghee… this probably explains Sukhbir’s paunch…

Venue: Sukhbir n Rimpy’s place
Well it’s the birthday of their daughter Tavleen urf Sonia/Sonu a.k.a. Nonu
After chaats papdi smaosas, pakodas, choley, pizza, fries and three pegs of Famous Grouse there was hardly any room left in the stomach to eat … but the good natured fellow that I am I still managed to squeeze in two Gulab Jamuns and one cup Rasmalai… now I do admit to having a sweet tusk… but more than that I wanted to applaud Rimpy bhabhi’s efforts at entertaining their guests and she knows it very well…
Went back again on Sunday for more of that lovely stuff

Somehow I relate it to the phrase:-
"Been there.. done(read ate) that; went back for more"

Being one of the three bachelor’s in a team which has the rest 15 married and living with spouse does increase your chances of getting invited at dinners

To all the people who invited me for dinner at their places… I thank you profusely… I pray to GOD to keep u well… May your tribe flourish!!!!

To all the people who haven’t invited me yet… It’s never too late!!


This week it was Dasshera… it has been an exceptionally good week for me… got no less than 5 invites for dinner on different days of the week and since Tuesday night we haven’t cooked anything ourselves….
Dasshera marks the slaying of the evil Ravana by Bhagwaan Shri Ramchandra... another 20 days and on the amavasya of Kartik maas will be Deepawali - the festival of lights , when ShreeRam returned to Ayodhya along with wife n brother....

Another year (that too in succession) when i wont be with my family on this occasion...Last year it was due to project pressure that I was not able to go home during diwali... this year I am not in the country.....

I am reminded of two things:
First … these lines written below by the Late Kaifi Azmi... one of my fav poets..

Doosra Banvaas

Ram banvaas se laut ke jab ghar mein aaye
yaad jungle bahut aaya jo nagar mein aaye

Raks-e-deewangi aangan mein jo dekha hoga
6 dec ko shri raam ne socha hoga
Itne deewane kahan se mere ghar mein aaye

Jugmagaate the jahan Raam ke kadmo ke nishan
Pyar ki kahkashaan leti thi angdaayi jahan
Mod nafrat ke usi rahguzar mein aaye

Dharam kya unka hain kya jaat hain yeh jaanta kaun
Ghar na jalta to unhe raat mein pehchanta kaun
Ghar jalane ko mera, log jo mere ghar mein aaye

Shakahari hain mere dost tumhare khanjar
Tumne babar ki taraf pheke the saare pathar
Hain mere sar ke khazaar zakhm jo sar mein aaye

Paun sarjoo mein abhi raam ne dhoye bhi na tha
Ki nazar aaye wahan khoon ke gehre dhabbe
Paun dhoye bina sarjoo ke kinare se uthe
Raam yeh kehte hue apne dwaare se uthey

Raajdhani ki khiza aayi nahi raas mujhey
6 dec ko mila doosra banvaas mujhey

Secondly I remember the movie Naseem it was in mid nineties or sometime close…
It was about communal situation of India particularly Bombay during Ayodhya's Babri Masjid demolition by the Hindu fundamentalists… Kaifi Azmi played the role of an ailing grandfather who goes thru all this and breathes his last on 6th Dec… Mayuri Kango plays his school going granddaughter …

But all of a sudden why I am subjecting you to my personal rambling.. then some high quality literary stuff and then some hindu muslim riot movie …. Let me just stop writing before I stray too far.


This weekend I went to Hirtshal (3rd Oct) ... thats a beach on the north most tip of Denmark...
Actually we had planned to go to Lokken ... the plan being formulated very late in the day
around 12 in the noon when i woke up and saw the sunny weather outside... thw thought of going somewhere came impromptu to the mind ... a few phone calls later it was decided to meet at 1:30 pm at the bus terminal from where we take the bus to Lokken...

Fortunately or unfortunately we missed the bus for Lokken which was at 1:50 from Aalborg bus terminal.. so decided to take another bus at 2:10 the only difference was that we would have to do a break journey and change the bus from Bronderslev…anyways we decided to go for it…
As fate would have wanted that bus got cancelled that day and we were left at Brondslev with the next bus to Lokken at 6 pm… that was too much to wait for and by the time we would have reached Lokken it would be dark… so we pulled out our maps and began hunting for some other location to go to…

Hirtshal came to our rescue as there was a train to Bjorring(pronounced ‘Yo-ing’) in a few minutes from where u get a direct train to Hirtshal… so Hirtshal it was … soon we boarded the train to Bjorring and reached there in about 20 mins… The trains here have smoking compartments and it seems that the people travelling in those compartments make it a point to smoke and exercise their right to the maximum extent…

Anyways from Bjorring its another train to Hirtshal … now this train is amazing… they have the best plush comfy seats …. spotlessly clean windows and amazing toilets (better than airplanes believe me )… absolutely gorgeous…

Reached Hirtshal around 5 in the evening… the beach was mostly deserted and as soon as we entered the waters we knew why… the Atlantic was chilling…couldn’t stand in the water for long…. Played football for sometime… built sandcastles .. ate drank and had a good time …

The journey home was again from Hirtshal to Bjorring and there to Aalborg…went straight to Burger King and ate to hearts fill.. and then hit the sack….
Overall a nice trip with a bit of adventure thrown in unexpectedly…

Monday, October 10, 2005

Will the real Tarannum Khan please stand up!!!

For GOD sake dont send me another forward containing pics of Taranum Khan (TK) or links to her pics...Believe me I have seen no less than 4 different versions of this gal TK.... Dynamism personified... infact she is so dynamic, she appears different in each set of pics...

the first mail (read forward) nearly threw me off my seat... and the first reaction was... "Why doesn’t she try in bollywood??" she could have easily given a few of the sirens a run for their money... soon another mail came proclaiming that the gal in last mail was a certain Miss Tarannum Bhatia (in my case from the same person) who’s pics had being doing rounds in the mailboxes and now her family had decided to file a case against those who started these mails... I promptly deleted the earlier mail from my mailbox and the recycle bin too...

After two more mails on the same subject came this last one which contained the foll link

I secretly prayed to GOD to let her be the real TK... as I didnt want any more mails on the subject ...not that I mind pics of beautiful gals in my mailbox... but it was getting a little it too much to handle.. one mail comes with the pics... and then one of the frnds goes with a reply to all... then comes a pat n rather quick reply...(I wonder why they never reply so promptly when I ask for some technical stuff)

but the multimillionaire bar dancer was a hell of a topic for about a week when the officials exposed her assets(no pun intended)... Tanishq Bungalow at Juhu, another couple of flats, jewellery worth 7 lacs and a pocket change of 3 lacs... not to mention her betting bids which would put a lot of hardcore satoris to shame...and the number of four Men in Blue in her mobile...

One thing sure exists that she changed a lot of people's views about the bar girls....the image of a woman who seeks refuge in this proff to feed her family of 6, to which she is the only earning member, doesn’t emerge as quickly as the rich crorepati bar gal who travels in the swankiest of cars, lives in bungalows and has cash n jewellery stacked up in every closet...

Did she mange to change the image of a bar girl in the minds of people??? Is she at fault that she exploited the weakness of men for monetary benefits??? Is she involved in betting??? Has she got links with underworld???

Ur guess is as good as mine!!!